Wrapping up the Holiday season and heading into the New Year, gratitude was on my mind once again.

WHAT IS GRATITUDE?

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines “gratitude” as the state of being grateful or thankfulness.

In sobriety recovery, we say that “Gratitude is an attitude.”

Gratitude.org claims:

“Benedictine monk Br. David Steindl-Rast suggests that two qualities belong in our basic definition of gratitude. The first is appreciation: You recognize that something is valuable to you, without consideration of its monetary worth. The second quality Br. David mentions is that gratitude is a response to something freely given to you — gratis.”

I consider gratitude to be a way of living. Gratitude isn’t just FEELING grateful, it’s ACTING grateful.

For example, I don’t just say “thank you” when someone does something kind for me like holding the door open when I enter a store. I smile, look them in the eyes, and make sure my heart is heard when I say, “thank you.” You see, it’s not just what we say, but how we say it that matters. Also, I like to give others little gifts to show gratitude like handwriting them a card, or I might do something kind and helpful for them to show them my gratitude.

MY HOLIDAY GRATITUDE LIST

As I reflect on this holiday season, I put together this list of things I am grateful for to help share the blessings that I have in my life today and maybe even help you ponder blessings that you have as well:

• My journey of healing as a birth mother and the opportunity to share my spirituality with other prospective & healing birth mothers.
• A platform to share my heart with other women who may also be working through the pains and the gains of choosing adoption for their babies.
• My amazing, smart, polite, and loving son, our communication, and his heart for me,
• My son’s patient, open-minded and heartfelt parents, our walk together since we met, and the wonderful life they are providing for my child.
• The strong support system I have built around me of quality, like-minded women who appreciate and encourage me.
• My adoring & supportive husband, who is always rooting for my well-being and happiness.
• A life in which all my needs are met today… I’m fed, clothed, housed and clean every day of my wonderful life.
• Hot coffee with creamer every morning when I wake up to sip while I say my morning prayers and prepare for another day.
• My relationship with my God, my strong & courageous faith, and my dedication to never giving up on myself or those I love.

GRATITUDE PROMPTS

Now it’s your turn to write a gratitude list! Whether you share it with others during this chilly season to warm another person’s heart, or you keep it to yourself as a reminder of every blessing you have, take this opportunity to use these prompts to create your very own gratitude list:

• Name three people who support your choice to place your baby for adoption and how they specifically show their support.
• List two positive traits you have found within your character that have been revealed through your adoption decision.
• Share about how your strength and courage as a birth mother has inspired someone else in your life or helped someone else walk through a difficult time.
• Talk about your own faith, no matter what your beliefs are, and how it has helped you mature on your healing journey.
• Celebrate five things you have accomplished this past year that you find encouraging and that help you to continue moving forward positively in your own life.

SHARING GRATITUDE

Now that you have compiled your gratitude list, take some action and share your thankful heart with another. Whether you share your list with a loved one, make it a post on social media, hold the door open for a stranger, give your time in holiday charity, or help someone else in a way that makes them feel good; Remember that gratitude is a way of living, not just a feeling.

BIRTH MOTHER & ADOPTION GRATITUDE

I am also very grateful for every birth mother who joins me in walking a healing journey. It takes the courage of a lioness and the strength of a giant to get through the adoption journey. But in my experience, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I have an overflowing of blessings in my life today, especially when it comes to my son and his parents.

If you are considering adoption for your baby, please know that you are not alone. Feel free to reach out for guidance, information and help by calling (800) ADOPTION. Adoption specialists are available 24/7 to assist any woman who may be ready to start inquiring about adoption. I encourage you to empower and educate yourself and know that there is healing for every birth mother who takes this journey!

-Lindsay Arielle

Lindsay Arielle is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption more than a decade ago. Over the years, Lindsay has chronicled her post-placement healing walk via her writing to share her experience, strength and hope with other birth mothers on their own paths of healing. Lindsay’s blogs boldly reflect that, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.”

The post Reflecting on Holiday Gratitude for Birth Mothers first appeared on Considering Adoption.

I call adoption a gift because of how the choice has played out in my own life and in my son’s life. He is blessed to have incredible, loving, and attentive parents who provide beyond his basic needs and give him so many opportunities educationally and recreationally to not only grow in maturity, but to flourish in life.

Of course, at the time I chose adoption, I felt like my soul was being ripped from my body. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I was to choose adoption, I would have to meet a prospective adoptive couple who would respect and honor my choice to have it be an open adoption.

It has been more than 13 years since I chose adoption for my baby, and every year I find myself repeatedly blessed by the decision to have my adoption be open.

What My Open Adoption is Like

Every 6 months to 1 year, my son’s mom sends me an update of how he is doing. I receive pictures with descriptions of his friends, family, and pets. She even writes me a letter outlining all the activities my son is involved in, how vacations play out and what he is excelling in whether in school or sports.

I cherish these updates. I have a Tupperware bin that I use specifically to store all of the memorabilia I receive from my son and his adoptive parents.

In between annual updates, my son’s parents send me birthday and Christmas presents from my son. Once he became old enough, he started choosing the gifts he wanted to send me. I cherish every single one!

I love opening my memorabilia bin and looking through the photos, letters and gifts as a reminder to myself that I absolutely made the right choice by choosing an open adoption for my baby.

Blessings of Open Adoption in My Life

I’m not the only one in this adoption triad who is blessed by an open adoption. My son knows he was chosen by me and his parents to have a special life. He even has a special name for me as his birth mother.

He knows who he is, where he came from, and that he has extra family and love in his life. This reality never could have been possible for him if his parents hadn’t done such a great job raising him openly as we had agreed upon pre-placement.

I also have the blessing of visiting my son, usually annually, so we can spend some time together and he can keep in touch and build a relationship with me as his birth mother. I see the importance of this connection for him. I always want him to feel secure and comforted in knowing he can come to me about anything, including and especially his identity and where he comes from.

I never want him to feel abandoned by me or confused because he has questions about me, or even his birth father.

Challenges of Open Adoption

Navigating an open adoption has not always been an easy road. There have been hurt feelings, insecurity and tension in my relationship with his parents at times.

However, when mature adults decide to come together in unity for the love of a child, peace finds its way back always. I am honored and proud to say that I love my son so much and that I love his parents so much. To me, they are not his “adoptive parents,” they are his parents, and I am his birth mother. All the parental roles in our adoption triad are important and honored within our dynamic.

Thoughts for Women Considering Adoption

I’m so grateful that I chose to have an open adoption. I can’t imagine how much worse my feelings of loss and grief would have been if I had chosen the option of a closed adoption.

There have been periods in my life, though, where either I have needed more space or my son’s parents have needed more space. These times are challenging, but if we respect the requests of each party, we find that our adoptive-family dynamic has evolved into mutual understandings today.

I don’t want to minimize any other birth mother’s decision for a closed adoption, and I want to make it clear that I do believe there are situations in which closed adoption is incredibly beneficial. While I could write out yet another list of the benefits of open adoption compared to the benefits of closed adoption, I prefer to say this:

It is up to each individual prospective birth mother to look within her own heart to determine what type of adoption best suits not only her child’s needs, but her needs as well. This is the beauty of free will: we get to make decisions about what is best for ourselves without anyone else influencing our choices.

I highly encourage any prospective birth mother reading this to ask yourself what option of adoption sits right in your own heart. If you need to talk to someone to learn more about the option of open and closed adoption in depth, please reach out to (800) ADOPTION. An adoption professional is available on that phone number 24/7 in the hopes of helping women considering adoption all across the country to make a decision for themselves about what is best for their own individual situation.

God Bless!

-Lindsay Arielle

Lindsay Arielle is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption more than a decade ago. Over the years, Lindsay has chronicled her post-placement healing walk via her writing to share her experience, strength and hope with other birth mothers on their own paths of healing. Lindsay’s blogs boldly reflect that, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.”

The post Open and Closed Adoption From a Post-Placement Perspective first appeared on Considering Adoption.

If you are, then please don’t feel negatively about these thoughts. Instead, focus on the positive thought that adoption could be a realistic option for you and your baby at any stage of your pregnancy.

Exploring the Challenging Emotions of Adoption

A potential birth mother can have all sorts of negative thoughts about herself and her baby pinballing through her mind.

I know firsthand what this experience can be like as a woman who did choose adoption for her baby. I want to encourage you to explore your thoughts and your emotions if you are considering adoption because you don’t want your baby or because you don’t want to be a parent. It takes courage to sift through negative thinking to get down to core emotions that can cause us to feel poorly about ourselves, or our baby, or our pregnancy situation.

Let’s explore some of the negative emotions that come along with “not wanting my baby,” or “not wanting to parent,” or “not wanting to be pregnant.”

Perhaps I can alleviate some of the negative connotations with these emotions and help you focus on what a powerful and selfless gift adoption really can be for you and your baby.

Overwhelmed

It is normal to feel overwhelmed when we find out we are pregnant but weren’t planning or expecting it. Feeling overwhelmed can take our focus off solutions and keep us stuck in a problem we are facing.

However, simply acknowledging that we feel overwhelmed by pregnancy news can be enough, sometimes, to lift us from a place of negativity to a solution-focused train of thought.

You can think of it in these steps:

1. Admit the overwhelmed feelings exist,
2. Acknowledge the thoughts that hurt you,
3. Then choose to look at the possible solutions in front of you.

Shame

Shame is one of the ickiest feelings I have ever experienced.

I think of shame as an internal degrading in which my thoughts tell me I have screwed up and there is no coming back from such a mistake.

Shame can cause any person to spiral into a whirlwind of self-hatred if left unchecked. If you are feeling shame because of thoughts like, “I don’t want my baby,” or “I don’t want to be a mother,” then I encourage you to recognize it.

Admit that shame is affecting you, and give yourself grace by allowing for those thoughts to be considered as just that: they are thoughts. Thoughts are not facts, but we need to challenge those thoughts, so they don’t feel so real.

For example, instead of giving into shame, try saying to yourself: “I am not ready to parent, and I am brave to consider a decision for my baby and myself like adoption.” Or, “It takes courage to face shame, and I know I am not alone in considering adoption.”

See how you can reframe shame to be a positive affirmation for yourself?

Unworthy

It is very common for women to struggle with feelings of “less-than” or “unworthiness,” whether facing an unexpected pregnancy or not. As it is, we seem to hold ourselves to higher standards than even Hollywood would bear upon us. However, I encourage you to give yourself grace and receive an affirmation of love:

“Your decision for adoption makes you an amazing mother, not a bad mother!”

Women who chose adoption for their babies are not less-than others. We are not even greater than others.  We are MORE than enough in ourselves and don’t need to compare our decisions to other women’s lives and choices.

All women are beautiful, and choosing adoption is an option we can look at as a gift we are giving to our child instead of a choice that will lead to a demoralizing level of womanhood. We are all human and it takes courage and strength to admit our own shortcomings. Admitting we are not ready to parent, or that we are not in a financial or emotional place to raise a baby, does not make us unworthy of life or future parenthood. It makes us human.

We are brave. Birth mothers typically tap into a level of bravery that many people are never faced with.

Considering Adoption for Your Baby

If you are struggling with thoughts like “I’m expecting and don’t want my baby,” or “I am pregnant and not wanting to parent,” then please allow me to encourage you to consider adoption for your baby.

Choosing adoption may bring emotions that feel negative, but we can always turn it around into a positive if we want to. Feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, and unworthy are normal negative feelings and thoughts that you may experience, but you can always re-form them into a positive and self-loving affirmation.

Remember: If you live in the solution, the problem goes away.

Perhaps a selfless and loving solution for you is to choose the gift of adoption for your baby. If you would like to explore your emotions surrounding not wanting your baby and discuss the option of adoption, please call (800) ADOPTION to speak with an adoption professional. Someone is available 24/7 to talk with you, no strings attached, no pressure involved.

Remember always that you are never alone! God Bless!

-Lindsay Arielle

Lindsay Arielle is a guest blogger for Considering Adoption. She placed her son for adoption more than a decade ago. Over the years, Lindsay has chronicled her post-placement healing walk via her writing to share her experience, strength and hope with other birth mothers on their own paths of healing. Lindsay’s blogs boldly reflect that, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.”

The post Evaluating Your Emotions When You “Don’t Want” the Baby first appeared on Considering Adoption.

If you are pregnant and hoping to find the perfect adoptive family for your baby, you can click here to view adoptive family profiles of waiting families.

People Who May Consider Transracial Adoption

Families who pursue transracial adoption are varied and include:

• Families who want to add to their family regardless of race or physical similarities
• Families who want to create a multicultural household
• People wanting to adopt internationally for various reasons

Any kind of adoption – domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption, stepchild adoption, special needs adoption, and so on – can be considered transracial. Depending on where you are adopting your child, there may be differences in the process.

Domestic Transracial Adoption

There are many different situations in which domestic transracial adoptions occur, but this includes any transracial adoption in which the adoptive family and the child are from the same country. For example, interracial marriages may also include a stepchild adoption; a foster family may get the chance to provide a permanent home for a child of a different race; and an adoptive family may be matched with a birth mother of another race.

International Transracial Adoption

Many, but not all, international adoptions are also interracial. In these cases, you will need to understand the requirements to adopt in the country that you choose. Depending on the age of your child, you will also need to consider the differences in language and cultural upbringing.

Transracial Adoption Requirements and Process

In most cases, the race of a child does not change the requirements or the steps necessary to complete an adoption. However, the laws of a particular country must be adhered to if you are adopting internationally. In domestic adoptions, the primary exception to this is in the adoption of Native American children, who are protected under ICWA.

International Adoption Laws

If your transracial adoption occurs over international borders, then you must follow the necessary process, which differs in ways from domestic adoption. To learn more about this, read our section on international adoption. You will also need to contact an adoption professional who can help you complete an adoption out of the country.

ICWA

The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 (ICWA) recognizes Native American land as separate from the United States when it comes to adoption; this means that to adopt a Native American child, the child’s tribe must also consent to the adoption. If this applies to your situation, you can learn more about ICWA compliance from your adoption professional and from our website.

Advice for Adoptive Parents

Your child’s race certainly does not change your family bond, but it will have an impact on his or her life. Take a look at some of the following suggestions for raising a child of a different race:

• Learn about your child’s race and culture, and incorporate aspects of them into his or her life. Tell traditional stories, celebrate holidays, and teach your child about his or her country of origin.
• People of different races can have different physical and health needs; one common example is hair care for African American children. Make sure to address the specific needs for your child.
• Understand how to talk with your child about racism and the effects it can have. Do not ignore racial differences or pretend that racism does not exist.
• Surround your child with diversity as much as possible. Interact with people of your child’s race and other races in your neighborhood, school district or church community.
• Instill a sense of belonging in the family very early on, especially when you are adopting an older child; children can understand differences between people from an early age, and you want to ensure that your child does not feel isolated.
• You may receive unwelcomed questions because of the lack of physical resemblance between you and your child. Be prepared to answer these questions in a light-hearted manner, explaining in a positive way his or her adoption story.

Final Thoughts

Transracial adoption is one of many ways in which families are created, and if you choose to pursue this path, be prepared to talk openly and often with your child about race and diversity. To learn more about transra

The post test first appeared on Considering Adoption.

An unexpected pregnancy in Utah can be stressful, but you don’t need to handle it alone. To get help now you can fill out our online form. You can also call one of these hotlines now for helpful, free information about your unplanned pregnancy options:

• American Adoptions
• All-Options

In this guide we will share the three steps of how to deal with unplanned pregnancy in Utah:

1. Get Care and Support for Yourself
2. Learn More About Your Pregnancy Options
3. Choose the Pregnancy Option that Fits Your Needs

Step 1: Get Care and Support for Yourself

Big news of any kind, especially news of an accidental pregnancy in Utah, can be emotional. You probably have a lot of questions and concerns.

Before you focus on finding answers, remember to take time to take care of yourself and find a support team. No matter what choice you make for your pregnancy, your health is important when you are under stress. Below are some things you can do to support yourself before you make any decisions.

Things you can do to take care of your health:

• Do breathing exercises or meditate
• Drink water and eat a healthy diet
• Visit the doctor and follow any recommendations
• Stop drug and alcohol use
• Get light exercise like walking or stretching
• Spend time in nature
• Journal

You can also build a support team to help you through the decision making process.

Your support team can include anyone you want it to. It is best to surround yourself with people who are non-judgmental and who will support you no matter what.

Options to find your support team:

• 24/7 unplanned pregnancy support lines like the ones from  All Options or American Adoptions
• Your doctor
• A therapist or counselor (if you are considering adoption, an adoption agency can provide this for you)
• Friends
• Family members
• Trusted adults
• Religious or spiritual leaders

Step 2: Learn More About Your Options for Unplanned Pregnancy in Utah

Once you feel ready, getting started with the decision-making process is the next step. There are three options for coping with unplanned pregnancy in Utah:

Parenting in Utah

When you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy in Utah, the thought of parenting might feel overwhelming, exciting, or a number of other things. It is normal to experience a range of different emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy.

If you are considering this option, you might ask yourself some questions about whether or not you are ready.

Some questions you might ask are:

• Am I financially ready to support a child to adulthood?
• Am I prepared for the cost and process of pregnancy and birth?
• Is this the right time for me to have a child?
• What are my goals for the future? Would raising a child fit into them?
• Do I have the support system I need to raise a child?
• Am I emotionally and mentally ready to raise a child?

Many parents have unexpected pregnancies in Utah and decide that parenting is the right option for them, but it is not the right option for everyone. If you want to learn more about whether parenting is a good option for you, you might start by talking to some current parents.

You might also look into support that is available to parents in Utah:

• Financial assistance
• Parenting groups

 If parenting is not the option for you, you may also consider adoption and abortion.

Adoption in Utah

Another option for unplanned pregnancy in Utah is adoption. Adoption can be a brave decision that gives you, your expected child, and a potential adoptive family the opportunity for a brighter future.

Choosing adoption means that you will not have the physical, mental, emotional, and financial responsibility of raising a child. This can allow you to continue schooling or career plans, maintain your current lifestyle, or focus on other things that you may need to prioritize.

It can also give you the opportunity to be a hero to potential adoptive parents who have been waiting for a child.

Adoption does require that you go through the physical process of pregnancy and childbirth, which some people are not ready to experience. However, there is assistance available to expectant parents who choose adoption formedical expenses and other necessary support during pregnancy and childbirth.

If you are considering adoption, these links may help you answer some of the questions you may have about the process:

• Does adoption cost anything for birth mothers?
• What support can I get through adoption?
• What are the pros and cons of adoption?
• How can I find the perfect adoptive parents?
• How do birth mothers feel after they place a child for adoption?
• How can I be sure a child will be taken care of if I place them for adoption?

If you would like more information or you are ready to start the adoption process for your pregnancy, you can fill out our online form and get guidance and support from an adoption professional today.

You can also start by contacting an adoption agency. Here are a couple you can look into:

• American Adoptions
• Family Connections Christian Adoptions

Abortion in Utah

Another option you may consider if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy in Utah is abortion. Abortion is a medical procedure that can end your pregnancy. It is generally safe, and it is a common response to unwanted pregnancy in Utah.

However, there is limited access to abortion in Utah, especially later in pregnancy. There are few clinics that can perform abortions, and clinics may be required to have you complete additional steps before the procedure, which may include:

• An informed consent module that must be completed before you visit the clinic
• An in-person meeting in which the medical professional gives you information to discourage abortion
• A 72-hour waiting period after the first face-to-face interaction before an abortion can be performed
• If you are a minor, getting parental consent

In addition to the hurdles and limitations to abortion in Utah, you may also experience minor side effects, and may face judgement from peers or harassment from individuals around some clinics that perform abortion.

It is best to seek out advice from a medical professional  and access information through Planned Parenthood or a trusted medical professional as soon as possible if this option is something you are seriously considering for your unplanned pregnancy in Utah.

Step 3: Choose the Pregnancy Option that Fits Your Needs

You are in control of how you deal with an unplanned pregnancy in Utah. There is no “right” choice, only the choice that is best for you and your situation. And you know better than anyone else what that is.

If you’re still thinking or unsure, you can always seek out more information and support. Here are also some hotlines you can use to get immediate help if you need it:

• All-Options (peer counseling for unplanned pregnancy, limited hours)
• American Adoptions (unplanned pregnancy support from adoption professionals, 24/7)

The post How to Deal with an Unplanned Pregnancy in Utah [3 Steps] first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Open adoptions in Utah can bring positive changes to the lives of everyone involved. If you are an expectant mother interested in open adoptions in Utah, you can fill out our online form to get free information and unplanned pregnancy counseling from an adoption professional.

What is an Open Adoption in Utah?

Open adoption in Utah is a type of adoption where birth parents and adoptive parents agree to have contact after the child is placed with the adoptive family. In the open adoption process, the birth parents choose the adoptive family, and after placement they can continue communication according to the agreement they made.

What Does Open Adoption Mean in Utah (How is it Different from Closed or Semi-Open Adoption)?

You probably already know what adoption is—the “open” part of open adoption means that:

1.  The adoption records are “open” (the adoptive family and adoptive child know who the child’s birth parents are) and
2. After placement contact continues between everyone based on an agreement they made in the adoption process

This is the opposite of closed adoption. The “closed” part of a closed adoption means that:

1. Birth parent records are “closed” to the adoptive parents and child (the birth parents are anonymous) and
2. The birth parents and adoptive parents agreed to have little or no contact after the placement of the child

There is also a third option for adoption, called semi-open adoption. In this type of adoption:

1. Birth parents and adoptive parents know each other but may keep some identifying details private and
2. All contact between birth parents and adoptive parents is mediated through an adoption professional

How Does Open Adoption Work in Utah?

Open adoption in Utah is usually set up by an adoption professional working at an adoption agency. The birth parents choose potential adoptive parents. Then, the adoption professional helps the birth parents and adoptive parents through the formal process of adoption where they come to an agreement about contact after placement.

Ultimately, the birth parents have the final say on the type of adoption communication they would like. This is part of creating your adoption plan, which you control.

In an open adoption, contact after placement can include:

• Emails
• Photos
• Letters
• Phone calls
• Video calls
• In-person visits

What is the Process of Setting up an Open vs Closed Adoption in Utah?

With both kinds of adoption (open adoption and closed adoption), your first step will be to get in touch with an adoption professional, who can give you free counseling as you decide whether adoption is the right choice for your situation.

If you are an expectant mother, you can get counseling now by filling out our online contact form. Or you can also choose to talk directly to an adoption agency.

When choosing an adoption agency, it’s best to keep these things in mind:

• Adoption agencies play a large role in helping you through your pregnancy and adoption, so it’s best to look for one that has an experienced staff and offers 24/7 support.
• Adoption agencies also play a big role in helping you find the perfect adoptive family for your baby. Bigger agencies will have more potential adoptive families for you to choose from.

Here are a couple of adoption agencies you can consider if you’d like to learn about how to open adopt in Utah:

• American Adoptions is a large adoption agency with many potential adoptive family profiles you can view online, and more than 30 years of experience helping expectant mothers. You can call 1-800-ADOPTION to reach adoption support professionals 24/7.
• Family Connections Christian Adoptions is a faith-centered Christian adoption agency that works with both domestic and international adoption. You can click here to contact Family Connections today.

Once you choose adoption and get in touch with an adoption professional, the process looks a little different for open adoption vs closed adoption in Utah.

For open adoption in Utah, the steps are:

1. Make an adoption plan with your adoption professional
2. Choose an adoptive family and get to know them
3. Give birth and complete the legal steps of adoption
4. Stay connected with the adoptive family and your baby

In closed adoption, the steps are:

1. Make an adoption plan with your adoption professional
2. Choose and get matched with an adoptive family anonymously
3. Give birth and complete the legal steps of adoption

What are the Pros and Cons of Open Adoption in Utah?

Open adoption can be a loving choice that gives everyone involved the opportunity for meaningful and positive relationships that can last a lifetime. But it is not the choice for everyone. We’ve listed out some of open adoption’s pros and cons in Utah to help you decide whether open adoption vs closed adoption in Utah is right for you.

Pros of Open Adoption in Utah

• You have the opportunity to continue growing your relationship with your baby.
• You can build relationships with the adoptive family, and in some cases you might feel like you gained a whole family.
• Many children in closed adoptions wonder about their parents and may feel a sense of loss — staying connected to their birth parents are can alleviate some of these feelings.
• Birth parents often feel a sense of grief when they place a child for adoption. In closed adoption you may wonder about your child, but with open adoption you can get updates as your child grows up in a loving family.
• Children who don’t know why they were placed into adoption sometimes think they were “unwanted.” In an open adoption, you can explain your decision to your child at the right time.

Cons of Open Adoption in Utah

• Some birth parents find that the emotional toll is too high, and believe it will be easier to move forward after an adoption if they have less contact or no contact.
• Failure of either birth parents or adoptive parents to meet the expectations they set in place before placement can cause tension in the relationship.
• If expectations are not communicated early by all parties, privacy and boundary issues may arise. The best way to combat this is to find an adoption agency that can help you find a potential adoptive family that is on the same page as you.

Regardless of whether you want an open adoption in Utah or a closed adoption, you can get in contact with one of the adoption agencies below:

• American Adoptions is a large adoption agency that focuses on open adoptions with many potential adoptive family profiles you can view online, and more than 30 years of experience helping expectant mothers. You can call 1-800-ADOPTION to reach adoption support professionals 24/7.
• Family Connections Christian Adoptions is a faith-centered Christian adoption agency that works with both domestic and international adoption.
• Adoptions with Love is a Massachusetts-based domestic adoption agency that focuses on closed adoptions.

Adoption in any form can uplift everyone involved. If you are considering adoption, you can also fill out our online form to get more information.

The post What is Open Adoption in Utah? [Q&A] first appeared on Considering Adoption.

How can you find a family in Utah that will be a perfect fit as an adoptive family?

As an expectant mother, the process is easier than you might think—there are couples waiting to adopt who can give loving home to your baby. The first steps in finding a family looking to adopt a baby in Utah are to imagine the life you want for your baby, get connected to potential adoptive families, and get to know the families.

Step 1: Imagine the Life You Want for Your Baby

What you want in an adoptive family is completely up to you. When you imagine the perfect adoptive family, here are some factors you may consider:

Environment

Potential adoptive families can come from anywhere in the United States. Where do you want your child to grow up? It may be important to you that your child grows up in the same region, or it may be important whether they are in the city vs. in a rural area, or what kind of home your child is raised in.

Siblings and Pets

Some potential parents looking to adopt a newborn in Utah may already have children or pets listed in their profiles. You may prefer that your child be a family’s only child. Or you might love the idea of your child having siblings, or a childhood pet.

Activity Level

Some prospective adoptive families are more active, while others prefer more low-key activities at home.

Parenting Style

Some prospective adoptive parents are more disciplined, while others value more self-exploration and self-expression.

Diet

Diet can vary quite a bit from family to family, and children may have serious allergies or be picky eaters. Some people looking to adopt a baby in Utah have long family traditions of cooking, some are focused on health food, some are familiar with food allergies or picky eaters, and some value exploring new foods.

Age/Relationship History

You can adopt at almost any age. Some couples looking to adopt in Utah already have older children, while others may be young or recently married.

Values/Religion

Prospective adoptive families may have a variety of religious beliefs and values. Is faith important to you? If it is, you can pick an adoptive family that has the same holiday traditions or values the same things that you do.

Ethnicity/Background

The United States is a melting pot, with neighbors of different backgrounds and ethnicities living next door to each other. You might prefer that your child is raised in a home with a similar background to you. When you work with a larger adoption agency, you’ll have more diverse families to choose from.

Schooling

There are many options for schooling, from kindergarten to college and beyond. Some prospective adoptive families may plan to homeschool or send children to private school. If education is very important to you, then you may want to find an adoptive family in Utah who will want to send your child to college or help them get the best education possible. They also may have differing opinions on homework and school activities.

Contact After Placement
Some adoptions are open, meaning that the birth parents and the adoptive family continue to stay in touch after the placement of the adoptive child, while other adoptions are semi-open or closed. It is best for expectant mothers considering adoption to choose a couple that has the same ideas about what post-placement contact will look like.

Step 2: Get Connected with Couples Looking to Adopt in Utah

If you have some ideas in your head of what you are looking for, now you might be thinking “I’m looking for adoptive families for my baby in Utah, but where can I find a couple that fits everything I imagine?”

This is one of the places where an adoption agency can help.

Find Families Looking to Adopt a Baby in Utah through an Adoption Agency

Adoption agencies can connect prospective birth parents to prospective adoptive parents, and help everyone through the process.

Some couples looking to adopt a baby in Utah are already listed through adoption agencies. Many couples who decide to pursue adoption go to adoption agencies when they are ready, and adoption agencies screen couples for their readiness to become parents through a home study.

You can view profiles for prospective adoptive parents now, or you can look for an adoption agency first. To find the best agency, you will want to look for:

• Larger adoption agencies, which tend to have more potential adoptive families who are ready and waiting for an expectant mother and child to come into their lives. Some potential families will be couples looking to adopt in Utah, but you can also choose to look outside of your home state to find more options for adoptive parents.
• Adoption agencies with experienced staff and a history of successful placements. Adoption agencies act as a mediator between you and potential adoptive families. Experience means the mediation is more likely to go smoothly, and your adoption professional will be attuned to what the most important factors are for successful placements.

Here are a couple of agencies you can consider if you are ready to get started:

• American Adoptions
• Family Connections Christian Adoptions

Step 3: Choose the Perfect Adoptive Family and Get to Know Them

Once you are connected with families looking to adopt a baby in Utah, you may very well be drawn to some people more than others. This is when you can get to know potential adoptive families. This is often done through phone or video call, or an in-person visit.

During this time, you’ll want to make sure that you feel the potential adoptive family is a good fit. It is likely you have already figured out some things about the family through the search with your adoption professional, but this is a time for you to ask questions and become familiar with the family one-on-one.

During this time you can ask yourself a variety of questions to help you decide if the family is a good fit:

• Do they seem genuine, and like the people I expected from their profile?
• Do they seem excited to meet me and excited by the prospect of adoption?
• Do they fit the best life I imagine for my baby?
• Are there any more questions on my mind I would like to ask them?
• Do they feel like a good fit?

If you are ready to get started, you can view families looking to adopt a baby in Utah, fill out our online contact form to reach an adoption professional, or get in contact directly with one of the following adoption agencies:

• American Adoptions
• Family Connections Christian Adoptions

The post How to Find Adoptive Parents in Utah [In 3 Steps] first appeared on Considering Adoption.

When you choose adoption, you’re making a brave  decision. Adoption is one of the kindest choices you can make when it comes to giving your baby a bright future, but there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to understanding the adoption process.

When you’re ready to start crafting your adoption plan, you’ll get to make several choices. One of those decisions is whether you’ll opt for an open adoption in New Jersey.

If you’d like to be connected with an adoption professional, click here.

Choosing Adoption

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may have a lot of questions about your options. Adoption is one of the most loving decisions you can make, and there are many reasons to consider adoption for your baby.

Adoption could be the right choice if:

• You’re not sure you can financially support a child at this time
• You aren’t emotionally ready to parent a child
• You want specific opportunities for your child that adoption can provide

What is Open Adoption in New Jersey?

When considering your adoption choices, you might hear the phrase “open adoption.” But what does that actually mean?

Open adoption can look different for different families, but the goal of an open adoption in New Jersey is to create communication between you, the adoptive parents, and your child. Post-placement contact with adoption can be an emotional subject, but an open adoption encourages you to stay in touch with the adoptive family.

There are many benefits to open adoption for both you and the adoptive family. A few of those benefits include:

• The chance to watch your child grow up, flourish, and succeed
• Access to shared medical information, including your family medical history
• The opportunity to connect over the years, whether this is on a regular basis or for special family events

In addition to these perks for you and the adoptive parents, this type of post-placement contact can protect your child from feelings of abandonment. If your child has questions about you, they’ll be able to find those answers.

The amount of contact you and the adoptive family have can be negotiated prior to placement. You may want to talk with them once or twice a year, or maybe you would prefer more frequent contact. This should be discussed prior to the adoption taking place.

Make sure that both your adoption professional and the adoptive family know what your wishes are, because the level of openness in your adoption is ultimately your decision. When you are the prospective birth parent, you get to make the call about this part of your adoption process.

What are the Pros and Cons of Open Adoption in New Jersey?

Like every decision, there are open adoption pros and cons in New Jersey. Open adoption is meant to ensure that there is communication between you and your child’s adoptive parents.  Closed adoption means there will be no contact between you and the adoptive family.

The Difference Between Closed and Semi-Open Adoption in New Jersey

In the past, closed adoptions were much more common than they are today. Today many adoptions fall under the “open adoption” umbrella which serves to facilitate communication between the birth parents and the adoptive parents throughout the child’s life.

Some birth mothers may still prefer the privacy that comes with a closed adoption, however. This doesn’t mean that open vs. closed adoption in New Jersey are your only choices, though.

So, what is a closed adoption? And is that different from a semi-open adoption?

A closed adoption generally means:

• The adoptive family will not know any identifying information about you.
• Your privacy will be protected.
• You will not contact the family after placement.
• The family will not directly contact you.

Some birth mothers want the experience of a closed adoption because they feel it will help them move forward after placement.

If you like the idea of a closed adoption, but you want some communication, you may want to consider a semi-open adoption. With a semi-open adoption, you and the adoptive parents may communicate from time to time. However, all communication will take place through the adoption agency.

A semi-open adoption typically means:

• You may have indirect contact with the adoptive family, such as sending or receiving cards.
• You will not have the pressure to communicate on a regular basis.
• All communication will take place through your adoption agency.

The type of adoption you choose is entirely up to you. Like every decision, there are pros and cons of open adoption in New Jersey. Consider what you’re comfortable with in regards to communication, as that’s a great starting point for making your decision.

For some birth mothers, the idea of regular interaction and communication is too much to handle. That’s completely OK. Only you can know what you’re comfortable with. If you feel that having no communication after placement will help you move forward, that is your right.

Other birth mothers like the idea that they will be able to see their child’s life and watch them grow up. With a semi-open adoption or an open adoption, you may also have the opportunity to answer questions for your child. This can help them develop a stronger sense of self as they grow up.

Choosing Your Adoption Type

If you’re ready to choose adoption for your child, it’s important to consider the type of adoption you’d like. Whether you choose open, semi-closed, or closed adoption is up for you. For more information on open adoptions in New Jersey, reach out to an adoption professional today.

The post Open Adoption in New Jersey first appeared on Considering Adoption.

So you’ve decided to consider adoption for your child. Now it’s time to find adoptive parents in New Jersey.

Finding adoptive parents can seem overwhelming at first. But, you don’t need to worry.  You have a number of options when it comes to selecting the right family. In fact, you can click here to look at adoptive family profiles now.

It’s important to remember that there is no rush. You’re making a big decision, and you can take your time choosing a family you believe will be a great fit for your baby.

How Can I Find Adoptive Parents for My Baby in New Jersey?

There are many families looking to adopt a baby in New Jersey. You can start to find the right family by meeting with an adoption professional who can help you connect with waiting families. Then, you’ll get to decide which family will be the best fit for your baby.

Where to Start

The best way to find adoptive parents in New Jersey is with the help of an adoption agency. There are many adoption agencies to choose from, including:

• American Adoptions
• A Loving Choice
• Angel Adoption

Along with finding the right agency, it’s important to consider the things you want. There are many ways you can begin finding adoptive parents in New Jersey. Ask yourself what sort of childhood you envision for your child.

For example, do you imagine your child riding their bike in a small town? Picking blueberries on a farm? Maybe you imagine your child will grow up in a big city. The type of childhood you envision for your baby is possible to find, so make sure that you consider these decisions before you begin looking for a couple to adopt your baby in New Jersey.

How to Find Adoptive Parents for Your Baby in New Jersey

One of the most overwhelming (and exciting) aspects of adoption is choosing the family who will adopt your child. Choosing an adoptive family for your child can be an incredible experience.

Remember that you will be changing lives when you make your choice. You’ll be offering a family the chance to love your child, and you’ll be giving your child the opportunity to have an incredible adventure with their adoptive parents.

With that knowledge in mind, understand that you’ll have many additional aspects to consider. For example:

• Do you prefer that your child be raised in a two-parent household, or would you consider a single parent for your child?
• Do you want your child to be raised in a religious home? If yes, which religion do you want for your child?
• Does the family already have experience with adoption? If yes, what was that experience?
• Would you like your child to attend a specific type of school for their education? Can the family provide that for your child?
• Do you want your child to be raised in a family where one parent stays at home with them?

While there are so many decisions to make that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, remember that it’s OK to take your time finding the right family for your baby.

Getting to Know the Adoptive Parents [How Open Adoption Works]

One of the most common questions that comes up during the adoption process is, “How will we get to know each other?”

It’s important that you have time to get to know the family you’re choosing for your baby, which is where open adoption comes in. There are several ways you can do this.

The first step you’ll take when looking for adoptive parents in New Jersey is to view their waiting family profile.

This will give you your first glimpse of each potential family. Read each profile and watch each family video. Do any of the families stand out to you? Which families seem like they match the qualities you’re looking for?

While you may find adoptive parents in New Jersey simply by looking through the waiting family profiles, don’t worry if you’d like a little more information. Actually talking to the families you’re considering will offer you even more insight as to what their interests, personalities, and core values are like.

Your next step will be letting your adoption agency know the family you are interested in and talking to the potential adoptive family.

There are several ways you can get to know an adoptive family.

• Talk with your social worker about scheduling a phone call, video chat, or even an in-person visit.
• Ask questions about their lives. What makes them happy? What do they do for fun?
• Share stories from your own life and upbringing. They want to get to know you, too!

If you find that meeting a potential adoptive family makes you feel a bit nervous, try not to worry too much. Chances are that they are just as nervous and excited to talk with you as you are!

In fact, they might want to ask you questions, too, such as what you’re looking for in an adoptive family or what hopes you have for your baby’s future.

Choosing a Family in a Different State

It may come as a surprise, but you can choose a family from anywhere in the country. Finding adoptive parents for your baby in New Jersey can be great, but the family you choose may not reside in the state where you currently live.

While there are many families looking to adopt a baby in New Jersey, you may find that the best family for your child lives in another place. Consider whether that’s something you’re comfortable with or not.

If you’re opting for an open adoption, you may think it would be more challenging to connect with an out-of-state family. But, technology can truly be amazing in this case. If you choose a family in another state, you can keep up through emails, share digital pictures, or even video chat while you’re in different states.

Many prospective birth parents find the distance of choosing an out-of-state couple helpful, as it creates the space to heal and move forward after adoption. Plus, when you expand your search beyond finding adoptive parents in New Jersey, you have more families to choose from — which means a better chance of finding the perfect fit.

Find Adoptive Parents in New Jersey Today

When you’re ready to start looking for the right family for your child, start by viewing waiting families. Take your time reading each profile, watching the videos, and considering which family seems like a good match. Then, when you’re ready, reach out to learn more.

The post How to Find Adoptive Parents in New Jersey first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Open adoption in Idaho can be one of the best choices you’ll make because it can provide your child with a life full of love and opportunity with their adoptive family. Open adoption also allows you to maintain a lifelong connection with your child and the adoptive family.

As with any major decision, understanding the pros and cons of open adoption in Idaho may help you decide the best choice for your and your child’s future.

Take a moment to look at some common questions prospective birth mothers have asked about open adoption in Idaho.

After you have read through this article and you believe open adoption in Idaho is right for you, contact us today to be connected with an adoption professional to start your adoption process!

What is Open Adoption in Idaho? [And Not Saying “Goodbye” Forever]

When it comes to open adoption in Idaho (or any type of adoption), know that you are the one who makes the decisions. Free help and support from adoption professionals will always be available to you during any part of the process.

Open adoption in Idaho is an opportunity to continue a relationship with your child after placing them up for adoption. This is accomplished in a few ways, depending on your preferences.

How does open adoption work in Idaho? When you’re a prospective birth mother, you will create your adoption plan, which sets the level of contact you want with the adoptive parents and your child pre-and post-adoption. Working with a professional, you will choose one of these three options:

• Open adoption
• Semi-open adoption
• Closed adoption

If you would like to have a long-lasting relationship with your child and the adoptive family, then your adoption plan will involve either open or semi-open adoption in Idaho.

With many levels of openness, you can build a lasting relationship with your child in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

If you’d like to know each other’s identifying information (like full names and phone numbers), you can do that.

However, the level of privacy varies between the prospective birth mother and the adoptive parents in a semi-open adoption. Identifying details like last names, phone numbers and addresses are kept private. Open adoption in Idaho, on the other hand, is a direct relationship.

Open adoption in Idaho is the most common form of adoption for birth parents. This openness typically includes:

• Phone/video calls
• Text messages
• In-person visits throughout the year
• Emails
• Letters

Where are Open Adoption Agencies in Idaho?

There are a number of open adoption agencies in Idaho that can help you place your baby for adoption. Contact an open adoption agency here, or reach out to one of these Idaho open adoption agencies to learn more:

• American Adoptions
• A New Beginning Adoption Agency

What are the Benefits of an Open Adoption in Idaho?

There are many notable emotional and psychological benefits of open adoption in Idaho for your child, yourself and the adoptive parents.

Benefits of open adoption in Idaho for your child:

• The child can always come to you with any questions they might have someday about the adoption.
• Children benefit from other adult connections in their life, so open adoptions create a natural, expanded sense of a supportive family.

Benefits open adoption in Idaho for you:

• You can enjoy the child’s milestones and watch your child grow up healthy, happy and loved.
• You set the boundaries of communication, so if you only want to speak with the adoptive parents about your child’s life, that’s absolutely possible.
• Your child and the adoptive family will be able to talk to you if their child has any medical concerns in the future.

There are many beautiful stories of birth mothers choosing open adoption, like Alanna placing her daughter up for adoption to Jimmy and Chris, so she and her daughter could have a brighter future. You can watch their story here.

Benefits of open adoption in Idaho for the adoptive family:

• For some adoptive families, the birth mother becomes part of their own extended family, and with that comes an opportunity to develop an ongoing, healthy relationship with one another.
• There is also often an extra measure of encouragement the adoptive family experiences from knowing they were hand-picked to become the caregivers for the child.

What are the Disadvantages of an Open Adoption in Idaho?

Even though there are many benefits of open adoption in Idaho for you, the child and the adoptive family, we cannot ignore the possible hardships and challenges you might face before, during or after the adoption. Open adoption in Idaho may not be the best solution for everyone.

Some women find post-adoption contact with the adoptive family and their child to be a painful reminder of a difficult time. Other women might enjoy the communication and interaction with their child so much that they may get second thoughts about the adoption.

In these cases, some women may choose a closed adoption because they believe it will be easier to find closure and move forward after adoption, and that’s okay. Just know there is never a wrong solution.

Any problem that may arise is something that you and the adoptive family can work through with conversation and with some patience. Remember to talk to your adoption professional if you have any concerns about the potential cons of open adoption.

Open Adoption and Closed Adoption in Idaho [What’s the Difference?]

The decision to have openness in your adoption can be a well-established, evolving connection based on the comfort of both you and the adoptive parents. The open adoption definition can be whatever level of contact you want.

You might initially decide just phone conversations are enough communication for your relationship, however, later in life on a special holiday or another occasion, you might want to arrange for a visit. Open adoption allows for such times to happen.

Birth parents can take charge of their adoption plans in an open adoption. The question of whether you chose the right family could no longer be a concern after meeting and interacting with the adoptive parents. Meeting and developing a relationship with the family typically puts many birth parents at ease and makes the difficult decision of open adoption in Idaho less strenuous.

Closed Adoption

When it comes to open vs. closed adoption in Idaho, a closed adoption does not involve many interactions between the prospective birth mother and the adoptive family or the child. There is a little-to-no exchange of identifying information from either party, which usually includes medical records.

A birth mother’s choice for wanting a closed adoption is typically to avoid the challenging emotions of moving forward after placement. We recommend speaking with your adoption professional before deciding on whether open vs. closed adoption in Idaho is the better option for you.

This is a significant decision because once you make the choice of closed adoption, it can be very difficult to change.

There are many families waiting for the opportunity to adopt. And, whether you have further questions about open adoption in Idaho or you are ready to start the adoption process, you can contact us now to be connected with an adoption professional.

The post How Does an Open Adoption Work in Idaho? first appeared on Considering Adoption.