Fortunately, if you were involved in a closed adoption, there are many genealogy websites out there that can help fill in the gaps in your adoption story. We’re here to explain how genealogy websites can help you learn more about your adoption story, along with some tips on how to begin your search.

You can always fill out this contact form if you have any questions about search and reunification. We’d be more than happy to help!

How Can Genealogy Websites Help With Search and Reunification?

For adoptees, genealogy websites and family trees are a helpful way for you to connect with family members and can help you understand where you came from. Through search and reunion, you can piece together your identity while having the opportunity to create a meaningful relationship.

When it comes to birth parents, you may have decided to pursue a closed adoption and changed your mind. In this case, you might take advantage of genealogy websites and family trees as an opportunity to find out who your child is and how they’re doing. Through modern technology, you’ll have the chance to reconnect with your child.

Birth mother DeAnn Link was involved in a closed adoption in 1996. She had searched everywhere to try and reconnect with her daughter, but had no luck. Through Ancestry.com, Link was able to submit her DNA, hoping to finally reunite with her daughter.

“I know she’s out there, and I know I’ll find her soon. The more I try, the more I put myself out there, the more she’ll be able to see it,” Link said. “I was so young when everything went on, and it’s been a missing piece in my heart since then.”

Are There Any Downsides to Using Genealogy Websites?

Although these websites can be good for those looking to reunite with family members, some birth parents choose a closed adoption for a reason. As hard as it can be on adoptees, many birth parents may not want to be found. The same can be true for adoptees.

When located through a DNA tracking service, many birth parents and adoptees have no say in how they’re found. This can be a violation of privacy and can potentially do more harm than good. It’s important to ask yourself if the benefits outweigh the negatives before you decide to use a DNA tracking site to locate a family member.

Tips on How to Use Genealogy Websites for Reunification

It’s important to think about all aspects of the adoption triad before you use genealogy websites for reunification. Here are some tips to help you as you begin your search:

1. Gather as much information as you can

If you’re an adoptee, try and involve your adoptive parents to get as much information as you can from them. They’ll be a helpful resource as they may remember some details about your birth parents. The more information you have, the easier it’ll be for you once you decide to start your search online.

For birth parents, try to remember as much information as you can about the adoption. This can help you as you begin the process of searching for your child through genealogy websites. From there, you can submit a DNA test and see if anything matches.

2. Be open-minded

As you’re thinking about using a genealogy website for reunification, try and be as open-minded as you can. Sometimes it can be hard when a situation doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Having an open mind can help relieve the disappointment you may feel if an adoption reunification doesn’t go the way you planned.

3. Be patient

It can take some time for DNA test results to come back, so it’s important to remain patient as you begin your search. This can help you if you find that it’s taking longer than usual for a DNA match to come back. Once you have completed your DNA sample, it will be put in a database and will be compared to other samples, which can take some time. To learn more about search and reunification with genealogy websites, fill out our contact form to get more information now.

The post How Genealogy Websites Impact Adoption first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Also, a licensed adoption professional means you’ll have access to the most accurate and honest adoption wait times. To help you feel confident as you begin your search for an agency, here are the top three best adoption agencies in the U.S. to work with.

You can always fill out our contact form to get in touch with a trusted adoption professional now for more information. We’d love to help you begin your adoption journey!

Top 3 of the Best Adoption Agencies in the U.S that Offer Low Adoption Wait Times

1. American Adoptions

American Adoptions is a full-service, fully-licensed domestic infant adoption agency that works with adoptive families and birth parents across the U.S. Through extensive licensing and annual review by state officials, American Adoptions is one of the safest adoption agencies to work with.

Additionally, American Adoptions’ wait time is 9-12 months making it one of the only agencies that offer the lowest wait time possible. They also have many notable services, such as:

• Financial Protection: Any money you invested in the adoption gets refunded directly back to you in the event of an adoption disruption so you can continue to pursue adoption at your own pace.
• Shorter Average Adoption Wait Time: Through its extensive marketing and outreach, American Adoptions has a 100% success rate for families who remain active and more than 30 years of experience in creating 13,000 families, making it the only agency with accurate adoption wait time estimates.
• Adoption Video Profile Services: In an effort to further decrease adoption wait times, American Adoptions offers video profile services to give prospective birth parents a glimpse of your lifestyle and desire to become parents. When choosing an adoptive family, video profiles are a deciding factor for birth parents.
• Industry-Leading Marketing: American Adoptions invests significant resources towards prospective birth parents so that you can experience the lowest average adoption wait time. To get the same exposure from another adoption agency, you’ll need to join the wait list at 25 other agencies at the same time.
• Much More

American Adoptions will be by your side through every step of the adoption process. As a licensed agency, they are monitored and reviewed regularly to ensure safe, honest and legal practices. To get in touch with American Adoptions, call 1-800-ADOPTION now.

2. Family Connections Christian Adoptions

As one of the largest private adoption agencies in California, Family Connections Christian Adoptions can help adoptive families and birth parents throughout the entire state. On top of that, they’re also licensed to complete adoptions throughout the country. There are many adoption agencies in California that don’t have a wide-ranging scope as FCCA does.

Some agencies are only licensed in a handful of counties and would need outside professionals to complete the parts of the process. When you work with FCCA, your entire adoption will be completed under one roof. Additionally, their average wait time for adoption is no more than 18 months, but it could be faster or slower depending on your situation.

Some of the comprehensive services FCCA offers include:

• Post-placement visits: To get you closer to adoption finalization and ensure all post-placement requirements are satisfied.
• Finalization assistance: Your adoption professional and attorney will prepare and file your adoption finalization paperwork. They will also arrange your finalization hearing.
• Home study services: As a fully licensed adoption agency, FCCA will help you complete any home study requirements such as background checks, in-home visits and more.
• Help you make your adoption profile: To help introduce your family and your home to prospective birth parents.
• And More

To learn more about adoption in California, fill out this contact form to get in touch with an adoption professional now.

3. Gladney Center for Adoption

Gladney Center for Adoption offers a private domestic adoption program that helps adoptive families and prospective birth parents with the adoption process. If you’re interested in pursuing adoption through Gladney, you must be open to the diverse background of children and must live in the U.S.

The average wait time for domestic infant adoption through Gladney can take up to three years. Gladney’s domestic infant adoption program offers:

• Flexibility in the adoption process
• Assistance developing a family profile
• Guidance from an experienced staff
• Parenting education
• And more

Choosing an Adoption Professional

Overall, the adoption professional you choose can drastically affect your adoption journey. Working with the right professional ensures that you’re put in the best possible adoption situation and that your dreams of becoming a mom and dad are fulfilled. Are you ready to begin the adoption process? Fill out our contact form now to get started.

The post How Licensing and Verification of Agencies Affect Adoption Wait Times first appeared on Considering Adoption.

If you’re considering foster care adoption, you must first know what it is, how it works and what questions to ask before making a final decision.

• Foster care adoption has specific differences from private domestic adoption. 
• You must be prepared to navigate the complexities of foster care adoption. 
• You can get more information on the pros and cons of foster care adoption and learn about private domestic adoption by contacting a professional. 

We strongly encourage you to complete this online form to connect with an adoption professional if you’re considering foster care adoption. They can provide you with helpful information on foster care adoption, what is required and explain how a private domestic adoption is always an option. 

Until then, let’s talk about foster care adoption and what it means for your family. 

1. What is Foster Care Adoption? 

Foster care adoption involves adopting a child whose biological parents have had their parental rights terminated by a court. 

In some cases, when you choose foster care adoption, you are not required to have been a foster parent first. Some states, however, require that you get approved to foster a child to obtain eligibility for foster care adoption. 

The term foster-to-adopt describes a situation where adoptive parents foster a child first and then permanently adopt that child. 

Remember, you can always get more information on foster care adoption by filling out our contact form to connect with an adoption professional. 

• How Does Foster Care Adoption Work? 

Ultimately, the goal of foster care is to provide a child a safe environment for some time to reunite with the biological parents eventually. 

Children are placed in foster care for reasons such as: 

• Neglect 
• Physical abuse 
• Parental substance abuse 
• And more 

A judge presents the biological parents with a reunification plan, which, if met, means they can regain parental rights and bring their child home. 

If the specific guidelines for reunification are not met, parental rights are terminated, and the child becomes eligible for adoption either by the foster family or another adoptive family. 

Typically, relatives are first on the list for permanent adoption. If no relatives are found or are willing to adopt the child, the foster family can pursue foster-to-adopt.  

If the foster family decides not to pursue foster-to-adopt, the child remains with the state until an adoptive family is found. 

• What Types of People Consider Foster Care Adoption? 

Because there are so many children in the foster care system waiting for a permanent home, many couples choose to pursue this type of adoption. 

• Parents who have been fostering a child pursue foster-to-adopt when reuniting with the biological parents isn’t possible. 
• Families pursue foster care adoption because they are open to adopting an older child or a child with special needs. 
• Families who prefer to help a child in the foster care system. 
• Families who may not have the ability to afford a private domestic adoption. 

Foster care adoption is an opportunity for prospective adoptive parents to grow their families and help a child in need. 

As discussed, the foster care system often requires a family to adopt an older child or a child with special needs.  

You can find out more about how a foster care adoption is an option for you by completing our online contact form.  

You can also get more information on how a private domestic adoption is always an option and how you can receive 24/7 services and support when working with the right adoption agency.

• What is the Age Range of Foster Care Children? 

You’ll need to ask yourself how old do you want your adopted child to be? In many cases, prospective adoptive parents hope to adopt an infant. 

In the foster care system, infants are uncommon. Most foster care children fall between the ages of 2 and 8 years old. 

There is also a wide range and variance of race, gender and medical complications with foster children. In many cases, biological parents cannot provide safe environments for a child with special medical needs. 

So, when considering foster care adoption, you must be open to adopting children of older age and potential medical needs. 

If you prefer to adopt an infant, fill out our online form to connect with a professional to discuss working with an experienced adoption agency to find a birth mother placing her unborn or infant child for adoption. 

• Are There Requirements I Must Meet for Foster Care Adoption? 

State adoption laws will dictate specific requirements for adoption. However, there are general requirements you must meet before applying for foster care adoption. 

• Age: You may be required to meet a minimum age or be a certain number of years older than the foster child. 
• Marital status: Typically, single parents can pursue foster care adoption. If married, you will need to adopt jointly. 
• Sexual orientation: Your sexual orientation doesn’t prevent you from pursuing foster care adoption. Same sex couples and members of the LGBTQ community are more likely to foster and become adoptive families. 
• Residency: Some states require you to have obtained a legal residence before you can adopt a child. 
• And more 

Once you’ve met your state’s requirements, you will participate in a home study to determine your overall readiness for adoption, including determining that your home and environment are safe and suitable for raising a child. 

You can find more information on state adoption laws here. You can also reach out to an adoption professional to get more information on adoption requirements. 

• Can I Put the Child’s Needs Before Mine? 

This is an important question only you can answer. Now that you know foster care children can be older and potentially have medical needs, you must decide whether or not you’re ready to parent a child under those circumstances. 

The needs of a child must come first. Before committing to foster care adoption or private domestic adoption, you must know you’re ready to make the necessary sacrifices to parent a child. 

• Can I Care for a Child Temporarily? 

Knowing the primary goal is reunification with the biological parents is vital when it comes to foster care. Ask yourself whether you’re ready to care for a child for three months, six months or a year, knowing they may eventually leave your family. 

If you feel that fostering a child knowing a permanent adoption isn’t guaranteed is too difficult, complete our form to connect with a professional to get information on private domestic adoption. 

• Can I Support the Biological Parents? 

Because the primary goal of foster care is reunification, the biological parents will want support and communication while working to meet their reunification plan’s requirements. 

Journals, photos, updates and support while they work towards getting their child back can be difficult. It’s important to ask yourself how far you’re willing to go to support the biological parents and keep them engaged in their child’s life. 

• Do I Have the Support I Need? 

Having a strong support system, no matter what type of adoption you pursue is of the utmost importance. 

Foster care adoption can require a different level of commitment and sacrifice, and knowing your friends and family support you positively impact your experience. 

It’s also important that you work with a professional that can provide you with adoption services and support to help guide you through the process. 

1. Is Foster Care Adoption Right for Me? 

Taking inventory of where you are in life and what path you’re ready to travel to add a member to your family is the most important question you can ask. 

Assessing your readiness based on your current family life, career and other personal factors can help determine whether foster care adoption is realistic. 

Furthermore, deciding which type of adoption is right for you is essential before making a final decision. 

What do you envision for your adoption journey? 

If you dream of raising a newborn, foster care adoption isn’t right for you, as newborns are uncommon in foster care because the biological parents are given different opportunities to correct their environment. 

If you’re looking for the chance to give an older child or a child with special needs a safe and loving home, even temporarily, becoming a foster family with the hopes of foster-to-adopt may be right for you. 

You can always connect with an adoption professional to get more information on your options, including working with an adoption agency to match with a wonderful birth mother looking to place her unborn or infant child with a beautiful family like yours. 

You have adoption options, and your dream of growing your family through adoption can become a reality when you complete our online form and connect with a professional today. 

The post 10 Questions to Ask When Considering Foster Care Adoption first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Adoption is a beautiful way to grow your family and there are important questions to ask to when considering a transracial adoption.  

• Finding ways to celebrate your child’s racial heritage helps provide education and inclusion on their ethnic background.  
• It’s crucial that your neighborhood and community are diverse and supports interracial children. 
• You can learn ways to support your child, recognize their racial heritage and how to advocate for your child when you work with an experienced adoption professional. 

Adopting a child is a life-changing opportunity to grow your family and create a better future for a child and birth mother.  

Before reading more about transracial adoption (also known as interracial adoption) and if it’s right for you, know that you can complete this online form to quickly connect with an adoption professional who can answer all of your important questions. 

Now, let’s talk about transracial adoption, what it means for parenting your child and questions to ask when considering interracial adoption. 

1. What Does Transracial Adoption Mean? 

Transracial adoption is adopting a child of a different race than you. While all types of adoption have their strengths and weaknesses, transracial adoption does require specific additional education on potential challenges and the unique experience of adopting a child of another race. 

Transracial adoption is becoming more common and prospective adoptive parents like you have increased adoption opportunities when you work with the right agency. 

You can check out a complete guide on the adoption process by taking this link, but the process doesn’t change for transracial adoption when working with a reputable agency. 

Many adoptive parents want to grow a family no matter the race because, after all, family is defined by love and the opportunity to raise a child. Biology, genetic connection and race are transcended. 

Any potential challenges in raising a child of another race shouldn’t dissuade you from pursuing transracial adoption.

Instead, it’s a chance to educate yourselves on how you can create an inclusive environment and recognize history, holidays and role models and other important cultural elements associated with your child’s ethnic background. 

Remember, you can always connect with a professional by completing our online form. All of your questions regarding interracial adoption get quickly answered, and you can find out how to start the adoption process today. 

Transracial Adoption Laws 

If you’re interested in adopting internationally or you are pursuing an adoption with a child with a Native American heritage, there are specific adoption laws that must be met. 

Experienced adoption attorneys understand adoption laws and how to navigate them based on your specific case. 

2. How Can We Prepare for Transracial Adoption? 

Advocating for your child, better understanding events that have shaped the history of your child’s race in America and educating yourself on situations your child may face that you’re unfamiliar with are essential to preparing for transracial adoption. 

Neither good nor bad, there is a reality to raising a child of a different ethnic background, as it carries an extra level of responsibility in ensuring your child: 

• Understands their racial background 
• Receives education on the history of their race 
• Has role models to follow 
• Has the opportunity to celebrate holidays related to their ethnic heritage 
• Can participate in community events 
• And more 

Here are some other things you can do to experience your child’s racial heritage with them and provide necessary support: 

• Take a foreign language class to learn your child’s native language 
• Address racism openly 
• Ensure your child’s environment and community supports and welcomes diversity and multiculturalism 
• And more 

It’s also crucial that you try to view a transracial adoption through the lens of the child. What circumstances might they face? How will certain situations revolving around race make them feel? 

Having a better understanding of what life will be like for your child can help you prepare and determine how best to educate and involve your child in their racial heritage. 

Want to learn more about how to advocate for your child? Fill out our online form to connect with an experienced adoption professional who can provide more tips on how to provide important educational tools and create an environment that recognizes their racial heritage. 

3. How Do We Know if We’re Ready for Transracial Adoption? 

During the adoption process, you must complete a home study. This step reviews your family’s life, home environment and general readiness for becoming an adoptive parent. 

During this time, a social worker will help determine whether you are ready to become parents and raise a child of a different race than you. 

You may also come from a non-white background, giving you a better understanding of how important diversity is, the impact of race in America and how you can raise a child with a different racial heritage. 

4. Can We Get to Know the Birth Mother to Learn About Our Child’s Racial Heritage? 

Yes! Throughout the adoption process, you will have many opportunities to get to know the birth mother. Adoption professionals strongly encourage birth mothers and adoptive parents to have an open adoption and build a relationship through open lines of communication. 

You and the birth mother will have an initial introduction in the early stages of your adoption journey. At that time or shortly after, she may ask you various questions about your desire for transracial adoption.  

She may ask you about your understanding of racial issues in America, how you plan to create an environment where the child’s racial heritage is recognized and how you plan to incorporate their racial heritage in everyday life. 

This can be an excellent opportunity to learn more about your child’s ethnic background and create a deeper connection with the birth mother. 

You can get more information on how to get to know the birth mother by reaching out to an adoption professional today. 

5. Is Transracial Adoption Right for Our Family? 

Ultimately, only you can decide whether transracial adoption is right for you. However, one thing is clear; transracial adoption goes far beyond the image of a white family adopting a black child. 

In many cases, biracial couples adopt a child from a different racial background. Asian or Hispanic couples decide to adopt a child of a different race. There are numerous instances of transracial adoption that differ from the stereotypical image.  

The most important element of choosing interracial adoption is realizing when you’re ready to provide your child with the tools, education and involvement in their racial heritage.  

Doing so can avoid potential identity issues and provide your child with role models to look up to and remain connected to their ethnic background while experiencing the diversity of learning and experiencing yours. 

Work with an Experienced Professional 

Without a doubt, the best way to complete a transracial adoption and know you’re fully prepared for the journey ahead is to work with an experienced adoption agency and professional. 

The services, support and education on transracial adoption you receive are priceless. You also get increased transracial adoption opportunities when working with a national agency that has the resources to connect you with incredible birth mothers from across the country. 

You can complete our contact form to get more information on transracial adoption and how to get connected with the best adoption agency today. 

The post 5 Questions to Ask When Considering Transracial Adoption first appeared on Considering Adoption.

But, while everyone is so focused on all of the positives from adoption, there’s an aspect of every adoption that needs to be addressed – the waiting period.

When you begin your adoption journey through your adoption agency, you’ll rarely be adopting a child immediately. In some cases, you could. But, overall, many adoptive families aren’t matched for several years.

For some, this wait may seem like an eternity. When all you want is to start your family, having to wait can cause a lot of impatience and frustration.

There is so much going into every single adoption your adoption agency is working on. Longer wait times are to be expected, but that doesn’t always make that time easy for everyone.

Let’s talk about what your adoption professional is doing in this time and what your family, friends, and you can be doing to make the wait more endurable!

Understanding Adoption Wait Times

Every adoptive family will experience a different wait time during their adoption process. Understanding adoption wait times is a great place to start.

What is an adoption wait time? Once you sign on with the adoption agency you’re working with and have been carefully vetted and approved through state and federal laws, you’ll enter the waiting time of being matched with a prospective birth mother. Your adoption professional will present your adoption profile to prospective birth mothers, who will review it and choose whether they want you to be the adoptive family for her baby.

There are many factors that can determine how long your adoption wait time will take:

• The type of adoption you choose
• The type of adoption professional you work with
• Your personal preparedness for the process
• How open you are to different adoption situations and different expectant parents
• And more

In research, experts have found that approximately 63 percent of adoptive families in the United States were matched within a year of becoming active. The remaining 37 percent had a wait time of longer than 12 months. Again, the wait time you experience is based on many factors.

Yes, the wait time can be a very short time or a long time. But, to get through this time, there are several things you, your friends, and your family can be doing to prepare and stay calm while your adoption professional does their best.

What Your Adoption Professional is Doing

As you continue through your adoption wait time, it can be easy to feel frustrated with your adoption professional – you feel like they’re not doing enough to get your profile to prospective birth mothers, that they’re not taking your adoption seriously, etc.

First things first – know and understand all of that is false. Your adoption professional cares deeply about helping you through your adoption from beginning to end, and every small detail in between. What you may not think about when you’re frustrated (which is understandable) is that your adoption professional is doing so much work for you behind the scenes. They’re working on:

• Daily outreach to more pregnant women considering adoption
• Advertising with their adoption agency to help get the word out to more pregnant women
• Networking with other adoption professionals who are working with different prospective birth mothers than those your agency is working with
• Balancing their adoption cases with other adoptive families they’re helping, which helps ensure more accurate wait time estimates
• And more

Never think that your adoption professional is ignoring you or not working hard enough on your case. They are doing all that they can with what they have available to them, so your patience is appreciated.

How Your Family and Friends Can Help

During your adoption wait time, it’s important to have a support system for you to lean on and ask for help when needed. But, when your family and/or friends feel a little lost for what they can do to help, suggest these ideas:

• Help share your profile with others to get your and your information out there to reach other expectant mothers who are considering adoption
• Help with any home preparations you may need to work on to make sure your home is ready for a new child
• Listening to you while you talk about what’s going on in your adoption process (we all need a healthy venting session or just time to update friends and family)
• Giving you and/or your partner space when you’re struggling through those tough days of the adoption
• Reading up on the adoption process to better understand all of the steps so they can help reassure you during the wait time
• And more

While it’s most important for you and your partner to be knowledgeable on and understand your adoption and its process, it’s can be incredibly helpful to have your family and friends read up on adoption and all it entails.

What You Can Do While You’re Waiting

It’s easy to get anxious, restless, and even frustrated when you’re facing a long wait time for your adoption. Every adoption journey can be stressful and lengthy, but that doesn’t mean you should waste that time being upset or complaining about the process.

As the adoptive parent, how you spend your wait time is the most crucial. If you’re a first-time parent, there are many steps you can take to prepare yourself and your home for your baby. Even if you have previous experience as a parent with other children in your family, the adoption journey is a lot different than if you’ve raised biological children.

The most important thing you can do while you’re waiting is taking care of yourself. You can do this by:

• Finding doctors and pediatricians
• Preparing your home for a child
• Figuring out your employer’s policy on adoption leave
• Reading child development and parenting books
• Pampering yourself
• And more

If you are going through an international adoption, there are some extra important steps you can take to prepare for your child:

• Getting any required immunizations
• Learning your child’s birth language as much as possible
• Arranging childcare for the children you will be leaving at home when you travel
• Buying gifts for your child’s caregiver and children in the orphanage, or your child’s other foster siblings
• Cooking and freezing meals for the first weeks back home
• And more

Emotions run high during an adoption journey for adoptive parents, especially during the waiting period. Instead of getting frustrated with others, spend your time taking the necessary and proper action to prepare for a new baby or older child. This time is yours to use, so use it wisely to be ready when the day comes.

Conclusion

No matter how short or how long your adoption wait time is, there is plenty for you to know and do during that time. While your adoption professional is working to share your profile with many prospective birth mothers, you, your family, and your friends can be using this time to prepare and learn what lies ahead once your baby comes home.

Use this time you have available to you as you need, and talk with your adoption professional about any questions you may have.

The post Your Adoption Wait Time [Behind the Scenes] first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Officially becoming an adoptive parent is an exciting time in your life. You’re getting to take the next step into growing the family you always wanted, and love a child who needs you. What you may not be prepared for, however, is whether your newborn baby will need to spend time in the NICU after birth.

While most newborn infants won’t need to go to the NICU after their birth, it’s important to understand that, every year, there are a number of babies who will spend time in the NICU. Below, we’ll talk about why your adopted infant may be spending time in the NICU and what you can do to get through the wait and experience.

Why Infants May Be in the NICU

Something to understand is that the time your infant may need to spend in the NICU can vary depending on the situation. This could also be for any number of reasons, including:

• The birth mother possibly didn’t realize that she was pregnant.
• The birth mother may have been experiencing a crisis during her pregnancy and couldn’t prioritize the prenatal care needed for her baby.
• The baby may have developed special needs or health issues before being born, and the birth mother placed the baby for adoption because she knew she couldn’t afford the expenses needed.
• The birth mother may have been struggling with substance abuse/addiction issues and decided to place the baby for adoption so she could focus on recovery.
• And more

No matter what the birth mother’s reason is for placing her baby for adoption, the baby needing to spend time in the NICU after birth is no cause for judgment. The most important thing you can do if this happens to you as the adoptive parents is to show support and love, and do what you can to help your new baby recover and heal.

Some Helpful Tips

The NICU can be an overwhelming experience for adoptive parents and newborn infants. Knowing some important steps you can take as an adoptive parent going through this experience can make that time more endurable.

Below are some helpful tips you can read about and try if you ever adopt a child who requires time in the NICU after birth.

Tip 1: Common NICU Procedures

Learning the medical terminology you hear in the NICU can help you more than you know. While many feel that knowing what medical terms doctors and nurses are saying can be even more stressful for adoptive parents, having an understanding of the language can help you feel more confident in asking questions and getting clarity.

When you better understand what a nurse is talking about in regards to your baby’s health and time in the NICU, it can also help reassure you that you’re going to be a good parent. You may be feeling helpless in not being able to make your baby better quickly, but you’ll have a better idea of their future health and understand future health action plans if your child ever gets sick as they grow up.

Talking with other parents whose babies are in the NICU can also be a great support for everyone. They can relate to you and your situation better than many others, so having others to talk to who understand what you’re going through with your baby and family can be beyond helpful when you just need to talk. Support groups may also be available for parents with children in the NICU. Being able to share your feelings, worries, and triumphs together can make this part of your family’s journey more manageable.

As most hospitals allow visitors in the NICU, talking with your baby’s nurses to better understand your baby’s routine can be one of the best things you do during this time. Knowing what type of interaction your baby likes, how long your baby can respond before getting tired, and even when your baby is stressed can all help you understand different ways you can help your baby while they’re in the NICU. If you can, skin-to-skin contact, also known as “kangaroo care” is a great way for both you and your baby to bond. Being able to spend time with your baby however you are able will go a long way for both of you.

Tip 2: Creating a Plan

Spending time in the NICU is usually not an expectation of any parent, but it happens. If your new baby is required to stay in the NICU for any amount of time, it’s important that you work with your employer to take that additional time off so you can be with your baby.

If you’re married or have a partner, work with them to coordinate time off, both together and separately so someone can be at the hospital. Having that time off allows you to focus solely on your baby and your family in a difficult time and not worry about any stresses at work. If your employer wants regular updates, work with them to figure out contact via email and phone calls.

Despite the fact that your baby’s time in the NICU can be stressful, it’s important to remember to include your other children in this matter. They may be at an age of being able to process things a little more, but it can still be a confusing time for them. Make time each day to spend with them so they don’t feel lost or neglected while their new sibling is in the hospital.

Finding support resources for your other children can also give them the time and other people to talk to while you’re with your baby in the NICU.

As long as it’s not against hospital policy, you can also work to create a home away from home. Especially if you have an extended stay with your baby in the NICU, bringing mementos like blankets, some family photos, and something comfortable to dress your baby in can make the time there a little more comfortable. Even though it’s not the nursery you have planned back home, you can still create the space your baby is in to feel a bit like home.

Tip 3: Build a Financial Plan

When your baby is going through an extended stay in the NICU, one of the best things you can do early on is take care of your insurance coverage. At placement, you can add your baby to your insurance. Once placement papers have been signed in a private adoption, you are officially responsible for your child’s medical needs. You can check with your adoption professionals to see if your baby may be eligible for Medicaid coverage to help with deductibles, copayments, and even coinsurance.

During your baby’s stay in the NICU as you’re there at the hospital, you can also look into getting nearby housing for little to no cost. Ronald McDonald House is a great example and opportunity for families needing financial assistance during this time in their lives.

Of course, one of the most important financial steps you can take is relying on others who offer to help. Whether that be extended family, friends, or even one of the nurses, they know you’re tired and dealing with a lot at that time. They want to help, and it can be beneficial to let them help.

That help could range from them hosting a small pizza party, bringing you a change of clothes so you don’t have to leave and drive anywhere, or picking up any necessities from the store. Not everyone may think of this kind of support as financial help, but having a strong support system with you throughout this time can make more of an impact than you realize, short-term and long-term.

Tip 4: Foster Care Adoptions, International Adoptions, and the NICU

If you adopted your child through foster care or through international adoption, there is a chance they may need a stay in the NICU. Especially for international children, the environment in their country may be different from that of the United States. If they picked up any illness while there, staying in the NICU allows medical officials time to make sure the baby is healthy. The birth mother of the child may also have had health concerns, herself, that could have affected the baby during pregnancy.

No matter why your adopted baby needs to spend time in the NICU before you can take them home, there is no need for any kind of judgment towards the birth mother or birth family. You need to spend that energy focusing on your new baby and your family so you can, hopefully, bring them home soon to start their new life.

Organizations You Can Donate To

If you have family members and friends who ask you how they can help while your baby spends time in the NICU, help can always be provided through donations to organizations that assist NICU hospitals and families. Before making a donation, you can research organizations and non-profit companies that take donations for NICU assistance.

Here are some websites of non-profit organizations you can research and contact for any questions or help with donating:

• Project Sweet Peas
• National Perinatal Association
• Graham’s Foundation
• NICU Helping Hands

Conclusion

Despite how scary and overwhelming spending time in the NICU with your baby can be, taking the right steps and getting the best care can make that time a little more endurable. Having a strong support system, taking care of yourself and your family, and taking the time to learn more about the NICU and your baby’s health can have immediate and long-lasting effects.

The most important thing you can do during this time is to have patience and respect with the hospital staff attending to your baby. The nurses and doctors in the NICU can help you understand the procedures and your baby’s routines, which can help you feel more comfortable letting them do their jobs to get your baby healthy and ready to go home.

It’s understandable that you may feel highly stressed, but just remember that this time is only temporary. When you finally get to take your baby home for the first time after staying in the NICU, that time in your life will feel even more special.

The post Honoring NICU Awareness Month in the Adoption Community first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Here’s what most pregnant women will want to know about you:

1.     That You Will Respect Her Boundaries and Decisions

Choosing adoption is a difficult decision for expectant parents to make, even if they know it’s what is best for them and their baby. Many prospective birth mothers find comfort in hopeful adoptive families who show reverence for what they’re going through, as well as a positive outlook on adoption and raising their child.

Placing a child for adoption isn’t easy and she doesn’t want to be judged for her decision, nor have her feelings dismissed. Acknowledging that she is making a brave and difficult decision can go a long way. It can also be helpful for a birth mother to know that you will openly and honestly talk to her child about their adoption and their birth family.  When making your adoptive family profile, it can be helpful to empathize with the prospective birth mother and make it clear that if she gives you the opportunity to adopt her baby, you will celebrate this decision and your adopted child.

2.     That You Are Committed to Providing Support and Stability

If an expectant mother is considering adoption, it’s likely because she feels she cannot provide her baby with the life she feels they deserve, or she is not yet ready to.  She wants to place her baby with a family who she feels can give her baby the best life possible, and that are committed to doing so.

 If you are hopeful adoptive parents who have been approved by an agency, then you’ve been cleared as being financially able to support a child. While financial stability is important in raising a child, she wants to know that family is important to you and that your family has a strong drive to support the child emotionally and mentally as well.  She wants to know that you will do whatever it takes to give her baby the life they deserve and that you will be willing to make the necessary sacrifices to be there for her baby.

3.     What Your Values and Morals Are Like

If your values align with the prospective birth mother’s, this is typically a good way to start establishing a connection. Since she will be choosing you and not the other way around, the best thing you can do when filling out your adoptive family profile is to speak openly and enthusiastically about your values and how you would raise a child in accordance with these values. Whether those values are based in religion, family, or simply just good character, don’t be afraid to be emphatic. Your adoption professional will be available if you need help or have questions when filling out your adoptive family profile. To get more information about how you can stand out to prospective birth mothers, reach out to an adoption professional today.

The post 3 Things Prospective Birth Moms Want to Know About Adoptive Couples first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Any information and documentation you share with your adoption professional will be remain secure and will never be shared without your permission.

“How intense is the adoption home study?”

Many prospective adoptive parents are worried that the home study is going to put themselves and their home life under a microscope during the home visit. Your home study professional isn’t expecting a spotless home; they just want to make sure that your home is safe for a child to live in.

“Why am I being asked about my financial habits?”

Part of the home study is the review of financial documents. Your adoption specialist will want to review tax returns, pay stubs and letters from your employer verifying your current income.  This is solely to ensure that you will not only be financially able to support your child, but to do so without living paycheck to paycheck. You certainly don’t have to be wealthy to qualify for adoption. Here is a helpful checklist of documents you’ll be required to submit during your home study.

“If I have a criminal record, how will it affect my home study?”

One of the most important parts of the adoption home study is the background check.  If you’re worried that your past will affect your home study process, the best thing you can do is be as open as possible with your adoption professional. Whether it’s a traffic ticket or a DUI, it’s important that you are completely honest with your adoption professional so that they don’t have to learn these facts from the background check first.

Minor offenses won’t immediately prevent you from adopting, but trying to hide them might. Your adoption professional will likely ask you follow-up questions about any misdemeanors, such as why the offense occurred, to gain a better understanding of the situation. However, criminal backgrounds of violent offenses or abuse will result in immediate disqualification.

“What kind of questions will I be asked during the interview?”

The interview portion of the home study is an opportunity for your home study professional to get a feel for your parenting style and the kind of life you plan to give your future child. Typically, the interview starts off with your professional asking about what you do for a job, what your hobbies are, what your relationship with your partner is like, etc. This is your chance to talk about who you are as a person so that your professional can get to know you better.  

Your home study professional will ask you questions about why you want to adopt and what your hopes are for your child once the adoption has been completed. They will also make sure that you have an understanding of how the adoption process works and answer any questions that you might have. This is of course not the only time you will have to ask questions. You can reach out to your primary adoption professional at any time during the adoption process.

The post How Intrusive is the Adoption Process? first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Not exactly. When it comes to private domestic infant adoption, the prospective birth mother chooses the adoptive parents, you don’t choose the baby. When you fill out your early adoption paperwork you will be able to list what races you’re open to adopting if you’re interested in transracial adoption, but you won’t be able to choose the gender or physical characteristics, just as you wouldn’t if you were giving birth to your baby yourself.

If you have questions or concerns about how much of a say you will have in regards to your future child, you can talk to an adoption professional now.

“Do you get to choose the baby you adopt?”

When you talk with your adoption professional, you will be asked to fill out an adoptive family profile. With this paperwork, you will answer questions that can help your adoption professional connect you with an adoption opportunity that’s right for you. The questions could range from addressing what budget you are comfortable with, how much post placement contact you want between your family and the birth mother, race, etc.

With private domestic infant adoption, you do not get to choose the baby you adopt. The prospective birth mother chooses you. This allows her to have a say in who she feels comfortable with raising her child. This is a great source of comfort for everyone involved — the expectant mother won’t have to wonder who her child was placed with and you can take solace in knowing that you were chosen by the birth parent(s) to be their baby’s adoptive parents. Once you have completed your questionnaire paperwork, it will be shown to expectant birth mothers who would be a good match.

“What physical attributes can you choose in your future child?”

 When you fill out your questionnaire paperwork you will be able to list what races you are comfortable with your child being so that your adoption professional can be sure that you are prepared to healthily acknowledge your child’s racial identity. As the adoptive family, you will be asked to cover costs of the birth parent’s living expenses and prenatal care.  In your early paperwork, you can lay out your preferred budget that includes your case management costs and legal fees as well as the living and medical expenses of the birth parent. Your budget will go towards meeting the varying financial needs of the expectant mother.  Some need more financial support than others, which is why it’s helpful to have a set budget in place.

You will not be able to choose the gender of your baby for a couple of reasons. It’s not uncommon for the expectant mother to not want to know the gender of the baby. Even if the gender is known, birth mothers might be put off if they feel like you are only trying to adopt a specific gender.

With foster care adoption and some instances of international adoption, they may send you a photo of the child you are intending to adopt. However, it cannot be stressed enough that you should never adopt a child based solely on their physical attributes.

Choosing adoption as a way to grow your family is beautiful choice. Even though you won’t for sure know how your future baby will look, it’s important that you are prepared to love and accept them for who they are, regardless of gender, race or physical attributes.

The post Will I Know What the Baby Looks Like If I Adopt? first appeared on Considering Adoption.

Many waiting couples are worried the size of their house could hinder their chances of adoption or that if they rent instead of own their residence they will be ruled out. You can rest assured that many adoptive parents rent instead of own their homes and adoption professionals won’t rule you out based on the size of your house or apartment, as long as you have a room for your child.

If you’re hopeful adoptive parents wanting to add to or begin a family of your own, you’ve likely already done some research.  If you have questions and concerns about the home study and how it might affect your ability to adopt, let us put your mind at ease. While the home study is important, an adoption professional’s goal with the home study is to rule you in rather than out. They just want to be sure that you have all the resources you need to comfortably raise a child.

The primary focus of the home visit is to make sure that your child will be safe in their new home. If you have any questions that aren’t answered in this article, reach out to an adoption professional today to get the answers you need.

“What do they look for in a home study for adoption?”

The purpose of the home inspection, also known as the home visit, is to serve as an opportunity for your adoption professional to educate you on any potential changes that should be made to ensure your child’s safety.  This means that even if there is an area of your home that could be an issue, it doesn’t mean you will be instantly ruled out. Your home study professional will give you pointers and suggestions of how to improve problematic areas of your home to be child-friendly. They want to lead you in the right direction, not find ways to rule you out.

Your home study professional will make sure that there are fire escape routes, that any guns are properly locked in a safe and out of reach of a child, screens on all your windows and fences around any open water on the property.

“How do I prepare for an adoption home visit?”

While the home study isn’t as black and white as many hopeful adoptive parents fear it is, it is something you should definitely prepare for. Of course, you don’t have to completely overhaul your home, but implementing basic things such as making sure your home is clean and clear of any potential safety hazards. Your adoption professional can give you a rundown of what they will be

• Many hopeful adoptive parents worry that if their home isn’t spotless, they’ll lose their credibility. This is certainly not the case. As long as your home is sanitary and safe for your child’s health, your social worker will be happy.
• Don’t feel like you have to remodel your home. Home study professionals are not here to judge your interior decorating skills. If your future child’s room isn’t decorated, that’s okay. They just want to make sure that the room and any furniture in it is safe and child-friendly.
• Make sure you have proper fire safety mechanisms in place such as smoke detectors, fire extinguishers and proper fire exits. It’s also important to have a fire escape plan in place in the event of a fire.
• If you have any pets in your home, this will be something your adoption professional will want to know. They’ll want to meet them to see how they interact with strangers.

How to Child Proof Your Home in 7 Steps

Here are 7 easy steps you can take to ensure your home is safe for a child:

1.      Check the Water Temperature

Make sure that the hot water in your home is safe for the sensitive skin of your little one.  Setting the temperature gauge on the water heater to 120 degrees Fahrenheit or lower is usually the standard.

2.  Put Away Dangerous Kitchen Utensils

It can be helpful to make sure that your kitchen is child-friendly by putting potentially dangerous items up and out of a child’s reach such as cutlery, glass, heavy cookware and cleaning chemicals.

3. Keep Choking Hazards Out of Reach

Babies and young children are prone to putting things they find on the floor in their mouth. Make sure that any small objects a child could put in their mouth are picked up and out of reach such as chemical cleaning supplies, paper clips, pen caps, etc. Not only is this unsanitary, but small objects like these are definite choking hazards.

4. Cover Unused Outlets

Check your outlets! Make sure to cover any unused outlets with outlet plugs to make sure that your child isn’t sticking their fingers or toys in the outlet.

5. Secure your Windows

A big safety point your adoption social worker will check for is making sure that all of your windows have screens. Also make sure that any blind cords or curtains with tassels are managed to prevent your child from getting tangled.  Consider investing in cord stops or safety tassels.

6. Child Proof Sharp Edges

Make sure that any low furniture with sharp edges such as coffee tables and dressers are covered with a rubber bumper or guard. Also make sure any tall furniture that could be climbed is secure in the floor or the wall.

7. Yard Safety

The safety of the outside of your home matters too. Make sure any sharp or heavy yard tools are put away and that your yard is free of any poisonous plants. As previously stated, if you have any ponds, pools or fountains, make sure there is a fence or barrier around the perimeter.

If your home study professional does come across any discrepancies during the home visit, this doesn’t mean that you will be ruled out from adoption. The home visit is an inspection but it’s also a learning opportunity. Your home study professional will address any concerns they have and tell how you can improve and why it’s important. They just need to know that you are willing to make the necessary adjustments to ensure the safety of your child.

If you have more questions about how to baby proof your home or prepare for you adoption home visit, contact an adoption professional today to get more free information.

The post What Does My House Need to Look Like to Adopt? first appeared on Considering Adoption.